Imp my ride.
Impslapped. Podpopped.
Davos: Oh gawd. So that’s where babies come from!
For Reasons.
A Lady’s Guide to Picking Up Very Fine Gentlemen Game of Thrones Style.
1. Be his twin sister. Nothing says forbidden like his womb-mate. You’ll never have competition.
2. Hatch dragons. For some extra steamy foreplay, the possibilities are endless.
3. Eat an apple. You never know when he’ll take off his shirt and start smithing for you.
4. Propose a threesome. Extra limbs are always welcome in his bed.
5. Saw off soldiers’ feet. Show that you are good with bones and can deal with fluids.
6. If he knows nothing, try bondage. If he still knows nothing, dry hump him.
…and queens shall clash.
Xaro: My vault is Valaryian stone; the greatest locksmiths and thieves couldn’t break into it. The only thing that opens my vault is this key.
Kovarro: Challenge accepted.
Use condoms.
Margaery Tyrell, popcorn bag extraordinaire.
The peach was lonely.
Margaery: My husband is my beard and I am my husband’s beard.
Joffrey: Ser Ilyn, bring him my head.
What happens when ridiculously photogenic guy comes to Kings Landing.
This is the Lioness of Lannister.
You do not declaw her. You do not
outsmart her. You do not go near
her cubs. If you abuse her, she
will stick nature itself on you
and gorge your ass up. Do not
even think of going all Seven on
her. She answers to no one but
herself and will eat you alive for
breaking her fast. She is not a
pawn. She was born a queen,
and queen always takes king.
When you play the game of
thrones, you are Cersei
Lannister or you die.
There is no middle ground.
Stephen Harper: holding Canada hostage.
Atlas Conquered: starring Terry Goodkind as the Objectivist.
“Tenderness would not cleave his soul with anguish.”
“A thing rose up in him.”
“They will remove their clothes just before the attack.”
This summer.
Co-starring the chicken that was not a chicken and the noble goat. You don’t want to know how long this took me. ‘twas a labour of love.
